Sunday, March 30, 2014
Thursday, July 21, 2011
I met someone in an odd way, from a site I am on and I saw his photos and it just hit me like, wow, I know him from somewhere else? He looked familiar to me, and well, I went on the dating sites that I am on and looked for him. I actually spent quite some time going through all of these profiles just trying to figure out if I was right or not. I came across his profile finally, and well, I read through it, and saw that we had so many things in common and so many things that we both want out of life. I however, being the shy person I am didn't do anything about contacting him, and to be honest, I am not sure why, but I just didn't.
I think it was a day later, and guess what? He obviously figured out that I looked at his profile, and he figured out where he knew me from as well, and I got an email from HIM! I was totally surprised, but the thing that really surprised me - he made the first move, and I am realizing that in the short time that we've been talking that I have grown to like him, a lot. I find him to be sweet, supportive, and good looking. He has listened to me more than I can say thanks to him for, and he has been there to support me daily (as many have!) in reaching my goals for both becoming healthier and making it through my first 1/2 marathon. I really like him, and I would really like to see where things could lead to.
I haven't had much luck in the whole dating game, and quite honestly, I feel like I suck at it, but you know what....I take that one day at a time. It's really nice when someone comes into your life and is accepting you for who you are and what you are about. It's nice to hear someone tell me what he finds attractive about me, and makes me smile, laugh and even blush for certain things. It's such a nice feeling. If he sees this (which I don't know how he would, but if he does) - I want him to know that I am grateful and so happy that he has entered my life and that I hope that things go well for us. I want to get to know him better, and be able to be there for him as much as he has been there for me.
It's all about patience (which for me people is ALWAYS hard for me!) and taking it one day at a time. After all, that is all we can do...and if it works out great, if not, then at least I have made a good friend. Thanks J. for being there for me - I truly appreciate and am so happy that you've entered my life.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
So many things to think about, and so many great answers that I came up with. I know that I am in the right field, because I am so passionate about being a nurse. I love helping people, I love being able to do whatever it is to either save a life or make someone's last minutes worth it. It's hard when I lose my patients/residents, but I know that everything happens for a reason, and I know that we all have our time on earth and also the time when God calls us home. Even if we feel that it's not the time for that person to go, you know that some how - you were able to make a difference in the their lives whether it was their last days, months or hours, you can make it special either for them or for their loved ones. To me, being a nurse has brought so many experiences, opportunities and memories that will last me for a lifetime. There have been so many families and patients who have touched my life in one way or another. I am a nurse because I wanted to make a difference in someone's life, and I feel that I have done that many, many times.
Being a nurse is a hard job though, especially in this day and age. We have many responsibilities and many things that we need to make sure that are done correctly in order to prevent harm to our patients, and to build strong relationships with the people we work with and the people we take care of. I try my hardest, and yes, even I make mistakes. However, the mistakes I have made, I have learned from, and take those experiences with me, and those make me a stronger, more dedicated nurse.
This brings me to the next thought...is it a good thing to go back to my past employer. I do believe that it is for so many reasons. When I walked through the door on Monday to have my interview with the Director of Nursing, it was fantastic to have family members come up to me and give me a big hug and tell me how happy they were to see me and when I told them I might be coming back, they told me how happy they were that I was coming back. I made a difference in their lives, and to me, that is what it's all about. This is the best reason to be happy with the decision I made to call my previous employer and ask if there were any openings available for me. It was also such a great feeling when many of my past co-workers came up to me and smiled and said to me "Welcome back." That shows me that I made some kind of impact in their life as well. It's going to be a change for me, because I am used to working day shift, and in this new position I am going to be on the night shift. I will however make it work out for me, and I will adapt to these new hours.
It was kind of a miracle in the making, because when I originally called to speak with the director of nursing, I was told by the office that there were no openings for nurses available. I asked to have the director of nursing call me anyway, and when she did the next day, she told me that I was lucky because there was an opening that had just become available the day before as someone had turned in their 2 week notice. God was watching out for me, and He obviously has a reason for me to go back to this facility. I have no reason to question this.
I am looking forward to the opportunity of making a difference in some of the new patients I will be taking care of, and welcoming back into my life the residents I took care of when I was originally there, as some of them, I have already said hello to, and they remember me. That is a good feeling. It's a warm feeling and one that makes me realize that I made the right choice. When you go into a place with an open mind, you can make it how you want to, and can accomplish anything that you want to. I believe in karma, and I feel that this opportunity that opened for me wasn't a mistake, but just another door that opened for me.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
I lost my job in June, and have been unemployed now for a little over 3 weeks. I decided to let my pride go and called my previous employer and now have an interview with them on Monday (tomorrow actually). The hours that would be available, should I be offered my old job back, would be night shift - 10pm - 6:30am. Now this wouldn't normally be an issue, because Gavin normally stayed by his dad when I worked first shift for these past 4 years, however, if I were to be offered this new shift - it also means different days, different weekends from what I was working and the worst part, what do I do with Gavin on Sunday nights when I would have to work? I asked Jeremy - because I know that he has previous commitments, however, I can NEVER keep his schedule straight when it comes to the weekends. Turns out my worst fear has come true...he is out of town on the Sunday night shift and that means, now what? I need this job more than anything right now.
So, this brought me to the next realization, I am alone, and becoming more increasingly lonely and depressed that I have been alone and no relationship really since breaking up with Scott back in 2008. Now, as I mentioned, yes, I have talked with other men, but no serious dating and somehow, when I started going through my divorce, never in a million years did I think I would still be alone at this point in my life. It's been since 2007.....I am someone who has never been alone for more than maybe a month after a break-up of some sort with a significant other. I never imagined going through a divorce either, always thought I would be with my "soul mate" forever. Only, my forever ended as we all know, in January 2007.
So, here I am alone, struggling to deal with life at times because of all of the crap I seem to have that hits me, and really wishing I was married again, so that I would be able to lean on my spouse in times like this. Do you know how hard it is to deal with all of these friggin' emotions on your own all the time? It's hard, sometimes too hard. Sure, I call my sister and my dad, sometimes I break down and cry hard with my friends, but I hate to always have to be such a downer for every one - and I hate to make it an "oh whoa is Deanna" moment. But truly, tonight and these past few weeks really shows me how much I miss having someone to talk to, to have a big hug and kiss when I need it, and someone who is there to hold me and take care of me when I need it.
I have made so many changes in my life recently to try to help me cope with all of this. I really became proactive in networking, I started to work out again daily in order to help me feel better and stronger about myself, and now, I just want to become more proactive in the terms of finding a man to date and see where perhaps things would lead to.
I know that God doesn't hand us more than he feels that we can handle, but I really feel like I am at the end of my rope, and honestly don't know how much more I can put on my plate without losing it, seriously. :(
Well, before I feel like all I am doing is babbling on, I am going to say goodnight for now, and hopefully as I figure things out and get my shit together, I will be on this blog more often - just spilling it out as needed. After all, I started this many years ago as a way to get things out and share my art with others, and so many of you have been there for me so many times....so it's time that I stop ignoring my feelings and find ways to once again cope. Thanks for whoever is reading this - thanks for making it through all of this tonight.
Friday, May 13, 2011
In this time, I have also watch Gavin grow up very quickly. He just turned 7 this April, and he is getting BIG! I will eventually start to post more I promise.
In the meantime, I decided that after a long hiatus of scrap booking, I wanted to do a layout for my cousin, whose wedding I shot back in October. The photos were AWESOME! I was very proud of myself, as this was the first wedding I have ever done. I am so happy that she and her husband liked what I did for them as well. That makes it that much more fulfilling, you know?
Anyway, here is a layout that I did, which is digital and so very happy with it considering how long it's been since I scrapped anything what so ever. Enjoy!
Talk to you all soon.
Friday, August 06, 2010
First you will need to gather your supplies:
- Rub Ons (I used the Tree House Rub Ons)
- Popsicle stick or tool to adhere your rub ons
- Glass jar (reed diffuser jar, candle holder jar, vase, etc)
I decided to use a reed diffuser jar that I have from Party Lite candles. I just hate to throw away the used jars as they can be recycled nicely after the oils run out.
The first thing I did with this jar is decorate the wooden bottle neck. It's really a fun and easy way to add some personalization and the Pebbles Rub Ons go on very nicely and are easy to adhere. I started out by measuring the rub ons to see how well they would fit around the bottle neck. I had to use 2 different patterns for this. I cut them apart as shown in the photo in order to create a nice border around the bottle neck.
Next, line up your rub ons how you want them to appear on the bottle neck and hold them down with one hand as you adhere them to your object of choice as you can see I did here in this next photo.
As you are transferring the rub ons onto the wood with your popsicle stick or tool, make sure to slowly peel the plastic off to see if all the rub on has adhere. If not, gently place it back on the material (while still holding onto it with your fingers so that it doesn't come off completely and you lose your placement) and continue to rub until you have the rub ons transferred to the wood.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Tree House 3x3 Cards (751024)
Tree House Chips (744114)
Tree House Stickers (732011)
Tree House Word Stickers (732010)
Other supplies used:
Pens (American Crafts, ZIG)
Buttons (Autumn Leaves)
I also used Shimmerz Samrock for the background color to give it some extra shine....love the colors on this one. The Shimmerz worked well with the Pebbles greens, and actually brought out those colors.
I also created a new layout using the stickers from Pebbles to make up my journaling and enhance the layout as embellishments. Love these photos of Gavin!
Here is a close ups of the journaling.
Twitterpated Cute (751009)
Twitterpated Giddy (751005)
Twitterpated 3x3 Cards (751000)
Twitterpated Word Stickers (732002)
Twitterpated Sweet Thing Duplicate Rub Ons (760237)
Baby Pink Pebbles Chips (744105)
Other supplies used:
Alphabet (American Crafts)
Pens (ZIG, Creative Memories)
May Bouquet Front Porch (751014)
May Bouquet Daisy (751020)
May Bouquet Courtyard (751019)
Tree House Bliss (751033)
Tree House Sunset (751029)
Tree House 3x3 Cards (751024)
Tree House Chips (744114)
Chirpy ABC Stickers (732009)
Glitter Candy Dots Green (744215)
Glitter Candy Dots Peacock (744229)
Pebbles Chips Navy Blue (44109)
Pebbles Chips Orange (44106)
Pebbles Chips Spring Green (44108)
Pebbles Chips Sun Yellow (44107)
Other supplies used:
Cardstock (American Crafts)
Letter Stickers (My Little Shoebox)
Pens (American Crafts, Creative Memories)